I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
