i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its about making memories worth repressing
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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