i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
