PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
