11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
