it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize