she looked like the before picture.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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