atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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