Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
All the doctor said was why
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize