Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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