My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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