Me too!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
