yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
