Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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