I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
