I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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