Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
