Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So vagazzling was a success
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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