I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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