I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize