Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
