well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
