Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
