A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize