where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
