Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
