i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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