I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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