How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
