Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
