Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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