she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
