I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
