ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
