Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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