Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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