Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
