I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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