Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
