she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
