my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
