I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
