Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize