We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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