on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
