How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
