It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
