Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
