508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
