she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
