birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
