this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
