We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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