What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize