I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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