you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
