Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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