Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
