like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Shame - the story of my life.
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